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Another Portland Blog

Saturday, December 24, 2005

 

Christmas Eve Blogging Blow-Out

I meant to space this stuff out over the past week but I got a late start and now, with only eight hours to go until their expiration date, I'll have to bomb through it all. Links, tirades about Xmas movies, photos! They all must go!

Yes, Virginia, it's a Christmas Eve blowout!

FIRST UP: RANDOM LINKS:

  • Here's a link to a not-at-all comprehensive list of people that have claimed to Jesus. Quite handy though.

  • Remember that remix of the Shinning trailer? Here's another video like that for a "A Christmas Story."


  • This is probably the best of its kind. Way better than the Darth Vadar Burger King thing or the Submissive Chicken. Watch Santa dance, drink, vomit and stare blankly at you. Your wish is his command.


  • SECOND UP: A QUICK RUN THROUGH WELCOME TO BLOG'S TOP TWO XMAS MOVIES OF ALL TIME

    # 2. Gremlins

    A movie that's too unbelievably good for it's, uh, own good. A pure pop masterpiece that can go from comedic to horrific to weird to tragic all in the space of thirty seconds. Take, por ejemplo, the sequence where Phoebe Cates describes the death of her father while Gizmo mutters in the backpack, mere moments before they take on a movie theater filled with slimy puppets watching "Snow White and the SEven Dwarfs" for some inexplicable reason. Gotta say that the scene in the bar, where the Gremlins get drunk, is just lame. Shrek-style, pointless pop cultural references galore. It's everyone favorite scene from the movie but I say it's lame, lame, lame.

    #1. Die Hard (duh)

    Because Bruce Willis has to spend the whole movie fighting terrorists with no shoes on his feet. .

    Because the movie's most misguided emotional crescendo is when a Twinkie-gobbling street cop learns to love shooting people again.

    Because it has the greatest bit of dialog from any movie ever. You know the line. Alan Rickman is delivering a speech when the elevator doors open. Inside is one of his evil terrorist minions with a Santa hat on his head and a festive taunt written on his shirt. With a sneer Rickman says, "Now I have a machine goon. Ho. Ho. Ho."

    Because every great Christmas movie should incorporate skyscrapers and terrorists.

    THIRD UP: THE REST OF THE RANDOM PD-XMAS PHOTOS:




    This window painting can found in the Pearl District at what appears to be a retirement center. Pretty inappropriate, wouldn't you say?




    My family always knew this street as "Candy Cane Lane," the not-quite as beloved younger brother of Peacock Lane. Sadly, this neighbor tradition is soon to go the way of the dodo. I hope the residents of this house continue to put out this kooky Santa display every year.








    We stumbled upon this place last year. A large house near SE 50th and Belmont drenched in a million Christmas decorations. It must have cost the owners thousands and, from the street, it looks like the inside of the house if fully decked out too. I would suggest a trip up there, ASAP. There's a for sale sign out front.

    So that's it. Happy birthday, baby Jesus and merry ChristmaKwanaukaHanukah Portland, Oregon.

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