"Welcome to Blog" turned two years old last Saturday.

Over the past twenty-four months, this blog has coughed-up some pretty kooky stuff. Like over a thousand scattered snapshots of random weirdness from around the Northwest and beyond. The first photo ever posted was of this guy.

Yeah, that possum is real.

The post themselves have covered everything from the Oregon Republican Party's Election Night shindig to condom shops in Tokyo and...kitten lighters. Its occasional feature segments have exposed a readership of literally tens of people to the joys that come with getting your car stolen out of the Pearl District, (probably) haunted local cemeteries and whatever this thing is.

This blog isn't meant to be profound, relevant (despite the occassional attempt), witty or even slightly intelligent. Just lively, weird, obnoxiously self-deprecating and self-indulgent. And dumb. Just look at all the grammatical mistakes around here. If this blog is anything, it's dumb. Are the titles of blogs even supposed to go in quotation marks?

Instead of pontificating on Portland politics, I've gone in search of what can only be described as "stupid and crazy crap." But "Welcome to Blog" is way behind in the field of "stupid and crazy crap." In a single day, sites like "Gorilla Mask" and "Kontraband" easily outdo what's been accomplished here in two years.

Moving along, I didn't think anything would top that Pac-Man gateway but then I went to Disneyland over Labor Day weekend. I think I can give up blogging after this post. Finally toss in the towel. Nothing I encounter in the future is going to be weird or stupid enough to top this.

Or maybe I'm wrong. After all, I've never been to the "house made of candy" in Sellwood. And is the war zone set from "The Hunted" still sitting out in St. Johns?

Anyway, without further adieu, here's the answer to last week's poll question but you'll have to work for it. It can be found in...

...THE "PUSH" PAGE!

Have you ever watched two Japanese TV show hostesses dance with a robotic trash can?

Have you ever seen a photo of a UCLA undergrad dressed up as Snow White hugging that same trash c...ok, you have. Nevermind.

But have you ever seen a photo of a middle-aged man doing the same in front of his incredibly confused kid?

If you've answered "no" to any of these questions, it's your lucky day.

If you've answered "yes" to all three questions then I've stayed up until three in the morning putting this all together for no good reason. Still, you should have a look. There's a Quicktime video in there. Honest.

And with that I'll now retire to my study to drink Miller Hi Life, watch "Attack of the Show" and continue wondering why I can't land a decent job in this condo-clogged town.