April 2011

Another blog. About Portland. And other stuff too.

about | archives | twitter | flickr | potma | iphone snapshots | facebook | yelp
rss feed | youtube | links | the burning log


Questions? Comments? Reservations?
anotherportlandblog[at]gmail[dot]com

Another Portland Blog

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

 

An ode to the Beaverton Winco

I now do 95% of my grocery shopping at the Winco in Beaverton. It's fun, cheap, close to my workplace and every visit is like an Indiana J...wait, scratch that. Every visit is like Firewalker.

Or it would be if Chuck Norris spent the entire movie in 24-hour discount grocery store/warehouse. Instead of Aztec gold, plenty of preservative-filled foodstuffs are up for grabs.

My regular trips take place near the midnight hour, which means I have to contend with an onslaught of forklifts. Like Costco, Winco stocks its shelves in bulk and this requires heavy machinery. Regardless of what night I'm there, the forklifts are out in full force; their drivers blasting through the aisles while maneuvering roughly 2 tons of Depends Undergarments. Getting across the warehouse's main aisle can be like ducking through traffic on an interstate. Is running the risk of dismemberment worth saving $2 on a box of Chocolate Lucky Charms? I think so.




Plus, Winco is great for people watching. It's amazing the number of seemingly normal shoppers you'll find cruising the aisles in the middle of the night. Why is that seemingly-innocent looking yuppie couple filling a cart full of fruit? Why are those three secretaries stocking up on cans of Campbell's "Thick and Chunky" soup at midnight on a Sunday? And why are entire families going shopping at this god forsaken hour? All of these questions will spring to mind during any given late-night trip to the Beaverton location.

But they only make up 10% of Winco's Sunday night crowd. The rest? The morbidly obese, methheads and possible zombies. A steady diet of Winco's cheap eats, over years, could turn me into any number of these. Nevertheless, the savings on my grocery bills can't be beat. I'm so infatuated with the Beaverton Winco that I've written it this blank-verse ode:

Oh, Winco

How do you do it?
You sell tubes of Crest for a dollar less than Thriftway
$1.50 less than Zupan's
You're the only place in town where I can buy a pumpkin pie at 3 AM on the Fourth of July...well, expect for all the other Wincos
Your endless stacks of granola bars, your .99 cent Catholic candles
Your death-defying forklifts and your...death-defying, but in a different sort of way entirely, zombie-like clientele
Your gigantic wine selection and your $5 jugs of half-gallon Ragu
I go to sleep every night knowing that, if, for some strange reason I wake up a few hours later with an insatiable need for a "Fairly Oddparents" pinata, I can rush into your perpetually open bosom and buy two of them

For all of these reasons, Winco, I love you with a passion that will whisper through the ages

Comments: Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]





<< Home


SEARCH THIS BLOG? SURE, NO PROBLEMO, AS BART SIMPSON USED TO SAY....





www.flickr.com




-archives-

  • October 2003
  • November 2003
  • December 2003
  • January 2004
  • February 2004
  • March 2004
  • April 2004
  • May 2004
  • June 2004
  • July 2004
  • August 2004
  • September 2004
  • October 2004
  • November 2004
  • December 2004
  • January 2005
  • February 2005
  • March 2005
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • August 2005
  • September 2005
  • October 2005
  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • June 2007
  • July 2007
  • August 2007
  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • March 2009
  • April 2009
  • May 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • October 2009
  • November 2009
  • December 2009
  • January 2010
  • February 2010
  • March 2010
  • April 2010
  • August 2010
  • September 2010
  • October 2010
  • November 2010
  • January 2011
  • February 2011
  • March 2011
  • April 2011

  • Clicky Web Analytics


    This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?