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Another Portland Blog

Friday, September 17, 2004

 

Beware the terror of George-zilla!

Sho passed along this link to pantsonfire.net. Funded by one of the founders of Ben and Jerry's, it's a grass-roots effort to draw attention to the alleged evils of the Bush administration. So are they printing up pamphlets? No. Are they knocking on doors? Naw. What are they doing? Something far more interesting: seeking volunteers to drive a 12' tall GW statue in a pair of flaming pants around their hometowns.

So far "George," who comes with a flat bed trailer and an American sedan covered in flags, has visited parts of Texas, Florida, New York and has even made a pit stop at (surprise!) the Burning Man Festival. The statue began a tour of Portland on the 12th and is scheduled to buzz around town until the 25th.

I haven't spotted it yet but I did "fire-off" (groan) an email and an application in a too little, too late effort to get behind the wheel. In town with plenty of liberals with plenty of axes to grind, I'm sure the organizers received similar inquires from no less than 50,000,000 potential volunteers.




Let's say I had been selected to do a tour-of-duty with this 30-foot long showboat. Rides down Hawthorne and 21st would have been akin to Jesus strolling into Jerusalem. Local residents would have likely thrown down flower petals for George...and are probably doing just that right now as some other lucky schmuck hauls him down these streets.

Would I have taken the statue to all the Kerry-friendly spots around the city? Sure, but only until I worked up enough courage to drive down SE Foster and through parts of Gresham. A trip out to the Newberg Drive-In would have yielded plenty of anecdotes. After tours of Texas, I'm sure the organizers finally figured out a way to make him bulletproof.

Would I have had to wear kevlar and risk my life? Sure. Would I have had to spring for gas? Possibly. Would driving George around PDX have been super-duper fun? No doubt. *sigh*

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