What has been going on in Jersey this past year? If the first episode of season five is any indicator, a good portion of the state has fallen into a vortex leading straight to the Bizarro World.

Last night's Sopranos felt more like an episode of Twin Peaks. In the first few minutes, a huge bear shows up in the family's backyard and begins licking lawn furniture. After officers from the wildlife bureau shake their heads, Tony, still separated from Carmella, sends one of his goons to stand watch with a machine gun.

Later, he puts the moves on Dr. Melfie, typically a big no-no in television. When two characters give in to sexual tension, it usually spells d-o-o-m for a show. It happened to Moonlighting, the X Files and, yep, even Mork and Mindy. More importantly: were those actually Lorraine Bracco's bum-bum and hoo-hoos on display or the bum-bum and hoo-hoos of a CGI stand-in?

Meanwhile, Christopher and Paulie decide to kill a snooty waiter in a parking lot. Anthony Jr. cries like a toddler at the sight of the big bad bear. After Melfie resists Tony's advances, he heads home, grabs the machine gun, lights a cigar and waits. Roll credits.

Yes, these new twists are strange and pandering. Are they entertaining, especially after last season's doldrums? You betcha'. I hope the bear becomes a recurring character and gets his own machine gun next week.