April 2011

Another blog. About Portland. And other stuff too.

about | archives | twitter | flickr | potma | iphone snapshots | facebook | yelp
rss feed | youtube | links | the burning log


Questions? Comments? Reservations?
anotherportlandblog[at]gmail[dot]com

Another Portland Blog

Friday, January 16, 2004

 

You could be, the most [dangerous song] in the world




And now a story that you just might lose sleep over. Why am I putting here for all the world to see? Because it's too weird not to share.

Last week, I was mercilessly stealing an album off of Soulseek. Why? Because I obviously hate my favorite artists and won't be happy until they're living in the streets with the roaches. I received a strange message from the person I was downloading it from.

OTHER USER: You NEED to download this album.

Just like that. No explanation. I tried writing back but didn't receive a response. Like a fool, I went along with this mysterious demand. What I wound up with was Cool and Strange Magazine's Thrift Store Compilation.

I used to volunteer at college radio station and I've always had an appetite for kooky music from bygone eras. The comp is like the weirder, more mean-spirited nephew of Incredibly Strange Music. Most of the stuff on it comes from gospel records and live recordings from '60s NYC nightclub acts. There's tracks like "Christian Cowboy," a WW2 propaganda track called "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Syphilis" and "Kitten on the Keys," which is a commercial for an organ company that sounds like it was put together during the Truman administration. For the most part it's kitschy and harmless. Then there's a certain song towards the end.

I'll stop here for a DISCLAIMER. If you're at all sensitive about abortion rights or religion, you should Stop Reading This Now. If you've got a strong stomach for these things, by all means, keep going but don't say I didn't warn you.

I sent this mp3 to a friend to see how they would respond to it. This is the sort of person, to my knowledge, has never, ever been offended by anything, ever. Not only was he not amused by the mp3, he was angry. He was shocked that I would have something like this in my possession. We argued for almost an hour about it.

I did a lil' internet research about the artist responsible for the track. What turned up was a surprising number of webpages devoted to him. Here's one review of his only album:

There's no photos or credits anywhere on this album. Just the sickly drawing on the cover and a list of song titles. As far as bizarre Christian LPs, I gotta say, this is this most extreme thing I've ever heard. It's some full grown man with a munchkin voice, singing terrifying songs about drug use, abortion and being a fat kid and each filled me with a profound sense of dread, horror, and disgust. This really, truly scared me the first couple times I played it, and I haven't played it since.

That's a pretty apt description. The track off the Cool and Strange Comp is called "Diary of an Unborn Child." Here's a sample from the chorus:

Why did you kill me, mommy?
God made me special for you
I only wanted to see you
and put my little arms around you


Further searches for the comp turned up no results. There's also no mention of it on Cool and Strange's website. Could they have disowned the album because of this track? Mayhaps.

So you think this is much ado about nothing? Well, you'd instantaneously change your mind if you heard it. I've got a pitch black sense of humor, have a copy of the Kids of Widney High in my collection and even I think it's evil and creepy. It's pretty nightmarish to think that there's something like this floating around out there.

Now that you've heard about it, you're probably eager to hear the track and see what all the fuss is about. This is the way people usually respond after hearing about something like this. With a little effort, you can probably find a copy. But trust me. You don't want to. "Diary of an Unborn Child" is probably God's way of punishing people who steal music off the internet.

Comments: Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]



Links to this post:

Create a Link



<< Home


SEARCH THIS BLOG? SURE, NO PROBLEMO, AS BART SIMPSON USED TO SAY....





www.flickr.com




-archives-

  • October 2003
  • November 2003
  • December 2003
  • January 2004
  • February 2004
  • March 2004
  • April 2004
  • May 2004
  • June 2004
  • July 2004
  • August 2004
  • September 2004
  • October 2004
  • November 2004
  • December 2004
  • January 2005
  • February 2005
  • March 2005
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • August 2005
  • September 2005
  • October 2005
  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • June 2007
  • July 2007
  • August 2007
  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • March 2009
  • April 2009
  • May 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • October 2009
  • November 2009
  • December 2009
  • January 2010
  • February 2010
  • March 2010
  • April 2010
  • August 2010
  • September 2010
  • October 2010
  • November 2010
  • January 2011
  • February 2011
  • March 2011
  • April 2011

  • Clicky Web Analytics


    This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?