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Another Portland Blog

Friday, January 23, 2004

 

Work? Bleah. Study? *yawn* It's FRIDAY and it's time to watch videos of exploding whales

That it is. If you're stuck in front of a computer, the last thing you should be doing is something productive. Why work when you can watch QuickTime videos instead? To further lure you down the road of procrastination, here's a series of links. Before you know it, it'll 5 PM, you will have accomplished nothing today and it will be time to drink yourself stupid.

Our first video is comes from Flirting with Coherence. He posted this link with a dire warning: "You don't want to see this. It's horrible, and you will have nightmares." Is it as bad as "Diary of an Unborn Child"? Click and see. All I'll say is that it involves Leonard Nimoy and singing.

Would you like to see the best music video in the whole wide world? Well, here it is. The link leads to Beck’s "Sexx Laws" and it co-stars Jack Black. As it begins, a group of men are under-going sensitivity training. Suddenly, the walls explode and hoard of football players invade the room. The men flee into a kitchen, where various objects begin "boinking" each other. A can of EZ Cheese gets it on with a can of Spam. The refrigerator humps the stove. And Then Things Get Really Weird.

Here's the teaser trailer for the up-coming Frank "Yoda" Oz remake of The Stepford Wives. Unfortunately, it contains no cheese-on-spam footage but it does have Nicole Kidman in it. That should count for something.

Do remember The Rocketeer? Of course not. Do you know why? It's because you and everyone else spent the summer of 1991 drooling over Terminator 2. The Rocketeer was a great little adventure movie that one no one gave their money to. In a better world, it would have spawned several sequels. Years later, most people just remember the Rocketeer's great '30s deco poster that was in theater lobbies for months before its release.

Anyway, this summer Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow will starring in a movie called Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. It's in the same vein of The Rocketeer and it was filmed entirely in front of blue screens. Rather than reading a description of magnificent vistas of 30s-style sci-fi planes attacking giant robots, you should watch the trailer here.

Finally, the whale video. Sometime in the '70s, a large whale washed up on the shores of a beach north of Florence, Oregon. Nobody knew what to do with it. The decision was made to Blow It Up. KATU filmed the explosion. Here's the newscaster's description following the detonation:

"Our camera stopped rolling immediately after the blast. The humor of the situation gave may to a run for survival as huge chunks of blubber fell from the sky....no one was injured, with the exception of this car."

Could the whale video be The Greatest Thing Ever Put on the Internet? Decide for yourself. I change my mind on an almost daily basis.

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