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Monday, January 26, 2004
Bar Banter from Beyond the Realm of Reality - #1 of ?
This post marks the first installment of BBBRR, a new continuing feature on Blog that's sure to either capture your imagination and/or cause you to slip into a coma. Portland's bars are chock full of interesting conversations. While most can be easily ignored, others demand to be written on the back of the nearest napkin.
The following bar banter was overheard at the Alibi, everyone's favorite North Portland tiki lounge. It has been transcribed off the back of a Portland Mercury coaster for your enjoyment. One of the persons involved looked and dressed like Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon. He will be dubbed "Murtaugh." His colleague looked nothing like Mel Gibson but will still be referred to as "Riggs." Let's see what they had to say for themselves.
MURTAUGH: "You're lucky I'm still talking to you after the incident."
RIGGS: "Oh, yeah. The incident. That's a good name for it."
MURTAUGH: "You are so lucky, man."
RIGGS: "Too bad he's got a fat wife. If I was him, I couldn't stand it."
MURTAUGH: "Hey, he's happy. We've been everywhere together. Even Tahiti. This place is like Tahiti."
[The owner of the Alibi walks by. For reasons unknown, Riggs recognizes him and pulls him aside.]
RIGGS: "Hey, how much would you sell this place for?"
OWNER: "Uh, how do you know I’m the proprietor?"
RIGGS: "We've met before."
OWNER: "I've always said that I wouldn't sell it for anything in the world."
MURTAUGH: "Everybody's got their price."
OWNER: "One time, a guy came in here and, seriously, told me to name a number. I said $10 million. We settled on $8 million. I spoke with him a few times later on the phone but it never came together."
MURTAUGH: "So how much?"
OWNER: "I always say $10 million now. That usually scares them away."
The owner politely and quickly excused himself. The specifics of "the incident" and their interest in the Alibi remain a mystery.